Why do I Write?

As I sit here wracking my brain, I realize I'm no closer than the last half dozen times I flirted with the answer. I could claim writer's block and be done with it. But I can't. Because I have only two instances that constitute what I call writer's block. One is when I’m stuck on what word to use that best defines a mood, an action, or emotion. The other is when I struggle with a paragraph that’s just not quite right. After that, anything else is just something I haven't figured out yet.

It's the later of the two that reminds me of an up-all-night session, more years ago than I care to estimate, when I just couldn't look at the words one second more. I needed to get up and walk away from the frustration. I went to the kitchen, poured a cup of coffee, and went outside to sit on the back porch steps. From there I had a clear view of the late night sky. A clear view of the most beautiful moon; under which I queried, “Why am I doing this. Who cares about what I have to say? And why am I driving myself so crazy if no one’s really ever going to care?”

And here I am; still working to get it right. Why? Because one day, whether by my own self-publishing efforts or landing one of those still ever-precious contracts--with a major publishing house--I will be In Print.

Okay, so all of this didn’t exactly explain why I write. Hence the tortured-soul syndrome. It's like asking someone the 'getting-in-tune-with-yourself version of, "What do you want?" Try getting an answered to that one in the same day's time.

Unfortunately I've stated, rather naively on more than an occasion or three, that I have this wonderful story that needs to be told. And as Fate tends to have it, that particular topic has raised its narly little head again; forcing me, once again, to wrastle with why?

When my pc is up and running, you can find me on an iVillage message board, the Writer Exercise Board.

The following post QOTW - The Dedication Page, asked the following questions:

How dedicated are you to the craft of writing? Do you write just for fun or do you dream of publication? Do you share your work because you seek praise, or do you seek feedback that will sharpen your skills? Do you view WEB as a social network or an educational resource?

The post reminded me of a passage I'd found a couple of weeks ago, while I sorted through some old files, while I worked with the national (or global) level tech support during a Spyware attack. Yea! That's how I started my 2008. Though I'd put the print aside, to share at a later date, the above questions were a clear invitation to share it a little sooner.

What I love to hear (and what I guess any writer enjoys) is someone saying, "I never saw that coming in the story!" Tell a superior tale and write what you know, which may just be, how to spin a fine story.

A friend of mine undstood it best when he said an excellent writer writes because he [or she] has to. It must come out and be told. No illusions of lasting art no ideals and morals, just a story dying, aching to be shared. In that way, you are writing what you know for certain.

[from Beyond The Words, a column by Steven Shrewsbury]

For me, that spoke to the very inspiration behind what I work so hard toward accomplishing. Reading those words were like someone reaching inside and pulling them free. Finally, someone knows exactly what I've been trying to say.

MORE COMING SOON. THIS POST IS NOT COMPLETE.